If you don’t know about the queer indy porn flick Champion by Pink & White Productions, I bet you haven’t been spending much time around the queer/porn blogosphere lately, because it has quickly risen to the top of many all-time favorite lists. I wrote my own review of Champion back in January 09 if you’d like to see how I enjoyed it.
If you haven’t seen this, you’re missing out.
And now’s your chance! Because see, Sugarbutch’s visitor counter hit 1,000,000 last week. One million! Can you believe it? Stat counters aren’t exactly rocket science, I think that number is probably give-or-take-a-thousand, but still, to see it roll over to seven digits was kinda mind blowing.
Thank you, for visiting, for stopping by, for reading whatever it is you’ve read here on Sugarbutch, for your comments and emails, for clicking through on the reviews or the affiliate links, for clicking through the advertisers, for coming back, for sharing these links with your friends or lovers or girlfriends or wives or boyfriends or mistresses or whomever you might send them to. Thanks for reading. Thanks for thinking about these things. Thank you.
So I’m doing a very special giveaway, thanks to Babeland: the Champion DVD itself. All you gotta do is leave a comment (with a valid email address) and give me one piece of feedback about Sugarbutch, either something you like or something you don’t like or something you wish I did more often or something you miss that I used to do or something I’ve never done or a question you have or a comment about the process or how you found this site or ANYTHING.
I’ll pick ONE single winner at random on Monday morning.
I found Sugarbutch through my girlfriend who sent me a link to one of your stories (I think it was A Quick Fuck In A Shadowed Corner) a few months ago. I've been reading ever since, I love the dirty stuff!!!!!
i miss the semantics and definitions that you used to do often. the terms were often new to me and very useful.
I found Sugarbutch by chance as its one of the links on gracethespot, but im so glad i found it. Im 18 and i live in a small town and not only do i live in a small town but i also happen to live on a military base. Its not always easy being an out lesbian on a midwestern military base. Theres not a lot of people like me around here.Sugarbutch has helped me figure out a lot about myself and my sexuality that I would have taken me years to figure out otherwise. Thankyou.
love the sugar butch- been sharing links with lots of friends lately!
I've been reading Sugarbutch for a while now and my favorite thing about it is, well, all of it. The reviews are oh so helpful and the erotica is the hotness – I love the personal entries about you as well. Congrats on 1,000,000, Sin. Nice!!
I love Sugarbutch. It's hard to choose a few things I love most because I so enjoy the variety of posts you present. I want the reviews, I want to hear what you're up to even though I'm not in NY, I want the semantics, etc, etc. I think, though, that the posts that touch me most are your vulnerable, emotionally-charged personal stories. These reflections are so beautiful and I consistently learn from them and feel less alone. Also, thank goodness you're a champ at writing smut.
I found Sugarbutch after being a listener of the Masocast. I was so charmed by Sinclair Sexsmith that I thought to subscribe. So far I've loved and favorited the stories told about sexual progress with Kristen, as well as the sex toy advice.
You know, I think I found your site through twitter, though I'm not entirely sure. ~smile~ The first time I explored Sugarbutch I stayed up well into the wee hours of the night, both reading and, erm, "reading." I believe this is my first comment; I will endeavor not to be so silent here in the future. Ah, the promise of Pink & White things….
The porn you write is, of course, totally delightful (and often seems as though you've peeked into my head and articulated some very particular fantasies and desires). I really enjoy when you discuss … well, I was going to say "queer theory" but I think that's my inner academic talking. It's the very nuanced discussions you've guided us through about queer selves, thoughts, and politics – like the recent post on cock and whether it's a masculine trait. Your writing on masculinity, in all the varieties and contexts you present it, are always fascinating and thought provoking. I really appreciate how personal yet outward-thinking you can be.
Here's my one request – more pictures! I love seeing photos you post of yourself and your surroundings to twitter, and would be delighted to see more of your photos (of you or other things/people) here. I'm a very visual person and while I enjoy having the lassitude to imagine what's going on, a taste of image is particularly satisfying.
Thanks so much for you your words and thoughts – they're a highlight in my days.
Congrats! I can honestly say that your writing, thoughts, and erotica have been a big part of my personal journey this last year. I've gone from shy, closeted, and frustrated to open, out, and kinky…it's been quite the adventure. There are lots of people writing about gender and orientation issues, but none that express things so clearly (or hotly) as you. I'm a faithful reader, and I'll try to delurk more often! Thank you for sharing your insights, fantasies, and personal journey with us.
for better or for worse
it was your blog that coaxed me into blogging
so ….
the best thing about your blog is
the solid thread of determined real
that runs through your smut
your philosophy
your art
that is what counts
for me
I think you could use more qualifiers when talking about butch identity and what it means to be masculine. I also identify as a butch dyke, but I don't agree with a lot of the statements I've seen made here. Especially when it moves in the chivalry territory. I also think it'd be awesome to get more into the gender spectrum within the queer community. Beyond the butch/femme dynamic.
where to start? i found sugarbutch through lesbiandad.net, a roundup of the top five finalists for the lezzies back in *gasp* 2008. and your writing blew the doors off of the mental prison that i had built around myself. your words gave me the courage to understand that my sexuality is my own, not beholden to someone else, that it is okay to feel the desires i feel, that i am not alone, that i might be desirable, that my relationship can end if it is not fulfilling and life will go on.
i'm sure i would have gotten there eventually, but honestly? i'm not sure how or when. through this website, and the community you've built, and my own blog [seconding tongue-tied here, of course] i've made incredible friends, found my own voice, and created a community for myself. thank you.
congrats!
what i love about sugarbutch: your openness, your willingness to be as critical of yourself as you are of the world around you, and the intelligent self-awareness with which you discuss sex and gender and sexuality, all of which make something inside of me ache with gratitude, with resonance. thank you for that.
what i'd love to see more of:
kinky poetry! i re-read tachycardia all the time!
I like reading your opinions/thoughts on pornography, since I'm very interested in it from a scholarly point of view. Unfortunately, it's still such a taboo topic, it's nearly impossible to find anyone from my group of friends with whom to have intelligent conversations about porn. Everyone automatically freezes up and says, "oh no, I don't watch porn," or they get super nervous and change the subject. But not you! This is one place I can come to read insightful discussion on the topic.
Finding your site (through someone on Feministing.com) has helped me fully accept my sexuality and see myself in a different light. Your posts are so down to earth and you seem like a wonderful person. You also make me laugh! I wouldn’t really change anything about your blog!
i cant recall how i found sugarbutch. i find what you write to be very thought provoking and your stories always make me all hot and bothered.
admittedly, i’m in it for the erotica, but the advice column in another favorite. i also appreciate how in-depth and quite emotionally personal / raw your blogging can be. i feel like the net at one time was awash in ultra-confession, and then drifted to buttoning up entirely. an intense pendulum swing!
lots of people whose blogs i read in the late 90s / early aughts don’t keep blogs anymore, or if they do, they’re entirely laced in. you’ve got a nice mix of the personal, as well as more social, community focused pieces. i appreciate this style of blogging a lot.
I don’t even know how I found you, but I stop by regular like even when I don’t comment… because I find you’re content, (commentary, stories and queer community spotlights) have really challenged a lot of my own ways of thinking about myself, my sexuality and what is A.O.K. for me. Like a mini queer gender university of sorts. Thanks! Congrats on breaking 1,000,000! ~ Christine
Two things are my favorite:
1) your personal introspective posts. they’ve honestly helped give me the courage, over the past two years, to be more self-aware, and to give myself room for holding contradictions. if that makes any sense.
2) the smut!
I have no recollection of how or where I found you, since it was at least two years ago. (wow!) but congrats on 1,000,000!!
hah, actually, i remember exactly how i found sugarbutch – i found babeland's blog (for the first time), where i ran across sugasm (for the first time), in which your "distracting myself" story was featured. that was a while ago.
as for feedback, i think you have the best smut on the net (well, best i've read, as the net is large), but the gender geekery is what *really* gets me. then, again, it's possible that the whole community aspect is what really kept me around. this was the first blog i read, and from here i've been introduced to a whole web of amazing gender/sex/queer/life writing (and joined in).
oh, and also, could you pretty please add a search field? =)
Pick me! Pick me! Pick me! No, don't – it'll look rigged.
Sugarbutch is a little bit of magic backed up by a whole lotta serious talent. The way that you have continued through the good and the bad (inside and outside of this blog) to trust yourself enough to continue letting Sugarbutch grow into whatever it authentically is at the time is exactly what makes it so amazing.
There are so many posts and topics that you have written about and presented that has created MUCH needed conversation and reevaluation and most importantly, these conversations and evaluation and thinking and defining, and redefining is coming from US, and no one else.
You actively continue to seek out these topics and host these conversations (and take the beating for it sometimes) and in doing so, whether we agree or not (and I'd argue the best stuff has come from disagreements), you are creating, challenging, and empowering a critical mass of infinite diversity to reclaim exactly how and what and when and where and who WE are.
Gawd, I just want to chest bump you now. Rock.
And seriously don't pick me, even I would think you rigged it.
I think Sugarbutch might have saved my life, the way that Dan Savage's column did when I was younger, only more so. I found this site last winter and your writing has helped me come to terms with my identity and articulate my desires. It's helped me figure out how I am part of the butch/femme world, which I was always drooling over but couldn't seem to fit into until I came across the phrase "tomboy femme" on a site you linked to and had a serious lightbulb moment.
I have a great relationship with my own kinky butch top now, and the best sex ever, and this level of comfort with my body and my sexuality that were inconceivable until recently. I might have figured it out sooner or later, but thanks to you I figured it out sooner, so I am damn grateful. And my boyfriend loves your site too, and she says she loves the smut the most. You are my favorite erotica writer, by the way.
And the Sugarbutch Hot 100 is amazing, and so is QEC. It is so, so valuable and life-affirming to have these representations of our community.
So thank you!
More smut! God bless the smut!
I found your site because I met you at Femme Conference and everything that came out of femme conference was glorious. :)
I do love the smut. I particularly love your current era of smut, btw (hi, Kristen!).
But I am also always grateful for the queer theory. So, so grateful.
I love your other projects (eye candy, hot butches) and where they go; they are things that exhaust me to think about (both the execution and dealing with the feedback), so I am glad there is someone who is willing to deal with the (heart-, head-) aches on my behalf.
And also that you sometimes give us stuff. Big fan of that.
I agree with the chorus that your reflective posts about identity are really useful, but only for those similarly identified.
As someone who's femme* identified, those posts are useful in my own explorations of masculinity (I like to pack), but those where you unpack femme identity are hard for me to digest because of our differing conceptions of it.
Also, I've commented before on this, but in your fictional erotica that highlights sex between strangers, it'd be really REALLY sexy to include safer sex in those stories. I lose my juice reading those stories when it the characters engage in penetrative sex without gloves or barriers, because what's sexy about potentially contracting an STD?
Not sure how I found you, but I love the blog. I love the eyecandy, I love the smut, I love the advice and I love that you have helped me understand my partner a bit better. congrat on 1mill!
I really appreciate the reviews — especially the ones about porn!!
i love love LOVE all the yummy butch/femme goodness. gives me reassurance after another day of trying to convince people that yes, i am in fact a lesbian despite my high heels.
and all the stories, of course as they make me happy (in the pants, obviously)
What isn’t there to love about a fellow Alaskan Butch?
Keep up the good work, man.
I can’t remember how I found Sugarbutch, but I love your posts about gender/sexual identity and how the two aren’t as clean cut as even some in the queer community would like.
I don’t remember how I found Sugarbutch, but I send my l(long distance) gf your stories for….inspiration. ;) I loooove the dirty stuff :)
I stumbled across Sugarbutch a couple months ago and I’ve been a fan ever since! I love showing my girlfriend the erotica.. it definitely gets her excited. I also enjoy the posts concerning issues of queerness and gender identity. Keep it up!
I read mostly for the advice, reviews, and smut, but what I like most is the history and community here. I know I can find someone on Sugarbutch who’s got advice for me whatever I’m facing in my quest to get to know myself and my girlfriend better. Queer Eye Candy has showcased many friends of mine, your community includes many people I know, and I love that you’re helping us all build this shared vocabulary and trust to tackle things we’d otherwise never talk about or see about each other. Thank you.
Hello!
I have never left a comment on your website before, but I always enjoy reading Sugarbutch. I was lucky to find your site thanks to google on one of those many nights (and days) I was thinking about gender (mine in particular).
I like many things on your page. Many of them a lot of people have commented on :o). One that people have not mentioned is the part were you put what are you reading online. It always has at least some that I find very interesting and I wouldn't have found otherwise. Also through the comments, I have gone to sites of other people that I probably wouldn't have found otherwise. So it helps build an online community :o)
Many thanks for your webpage and congratulations!!!!!
My favorite part of Sugarbutch is definitely the erotic writing. But I find your essays on gender interesting, too, and they provide a perspective I don't get in my day to day life.
More (fictional) smut.
I love that by reading sugarbutch I can get a little glimpse of what sex and queerness is like for a butch – as a femme-ish lady it's not something I get exposed to often, or will maybe ever understand. But it's wonderful to get little insights about it from you.
Hey! My girlfriend is doing her dissertation, and found your site god-knows-how. She linked me, and I've been link hopping like mad, now!
I actually had been meaning to comment at some point anyway. Might as well enter a drawing at the same time. *grins* I wanted to thank you; your articles have helped me come to a further understanding about myself (and my butch girlfriend). Some things I'd been really confused about or just didn't have a map for were made a lot clearer. I'd only ever heard butch and femme in pop culture — not the most positive look on the roles! — and hadn't even thought about looking farther. Then I found this and went, "…Holy shit! This is us!" I understand so much more, now, and I feel like I have a roadmap. Thank you.
Also, I would love it if you'd review this: http://store.babeland.com/vibrators-premium/vibra…
I check sugarbutch several times during the day just to make sure you haven't left any further pearls of wisdom. I've been out as gay, genderqueer, and finally kinky and you've managed to inform well on all three…
Hey there,
Found this site ages ago, and it's been a big help as I sort out my own gender presentation. Also, my latest lady friend is still reeling from an abusive relationship that happened a few years ago, and I can't help but point her to your articles, especially the latest ones about dealing with seeing an abusive ex in public. It's been great, and I've seen a change in how she handles it not only from learning from your experience, but with the understanding that other people know her anguish.
Thanks so much!
I love gender theory generally – and I like the ways you address and use it. Sugarbutch has given me some understanding of how butch/femme has worked and does work, and what people can get out of it – how these particular identities can function in some situations. Which is awesome for me – although I wouldn't choose to use either label, it's interesting to look and think. Also kink and gender is always cool. More more! More thoughts on gender and sexual activity in gendered ways and butch and femme and supercool. Awesome. Thanks :)
I found Sugar Butch when searching under the term "gender galaxy". I am close friends with Dylan of the Trannymals (sounds like a coat of arms!), and was curious if his term had traveled. I was happy to see you utilizing it!
I love you because of the definitions, sex product reviews, theory, and the queer community. I also adore the erotica, and want to thank Kristen and your combined chemistry; Kristen, thank you for being you; I have a sexual response that is similar to yours that I developed just in the past 8 months. It has been very helpful and reassuring to read your sexual exploits.
xoxoxo
'
I’ve never commented here before so I don’t really know what to say. I don’t really have too much to say because majority of the time I’m just enjoying myself too much to say anything at all. But, well, I found Sugarbutch about 4 or 5 months, and to be truthful, I don’t think anything else could have been as helpful in allowing me to accept not just my sexuality, but my gender and my view on sex.
For majority of my teenage life (god forbid I’m only 17 still!) I couldn’t understand why I felt so constricted. I mean, I’d accepted my sexuality, come out to all my family and practically the whole community, but somehow I still felt so disconnected from everyone else. Finding Sugarbutch and being able to read everything here, and to come back every now and then so that I can quote some random ramble; it’s given me the ability to see the world through someone else’s eyes.
I’ve never been in the LGBT community, (judging by I’m the only “out” person in my whole community) but this website gives a non-watered-down version of a real lesbian life and I feel like I finally understand myself better. I’d spent year’s being fed this heterosexual view of sexuality, of gender roles and of sex but here it’s so open and it makes me feel prouder to be who I am.
I guess you could also say I’ve developed a bit of a crush, but oh well. Hopefully when I get to experience my own lesbian life I’ll find someone as entrancing as Sexsmith.
It’s also a funny coincidence that you’re a gender theorist and ‘Gender Theory & Society’ is my major for University next year.
P.S. The name rocks.
I'm not sure how I came across this site, but it helped me be more comfortable with being myself. So keep up with whatever you're doing because I like it all.
You are a person who has inspired me to be honest with my sexuality, sensuality, gender, heart, pain, and confusion. You are someone who has made me look at my own writing and want to share it with the world. I am thankful for being able to read parts of your life so freely, and must say that if I ever met you, I would probably squeel with delight at meeting someone so influencial in my life, as you really are a celebrity. Keep writing about things you are passionate about, and experiences that enrich your life, for you are golden.
xoxo
I found Sugarbutch very recently, within the last week, during a link-hopping spree for the dissertation I’m working on. And I shared it with my girlfriend, along with a whole bunch of other links, and kind of blew her mind. Which blew my mind.
We nail both sides of the spectrum, as it turns out. Femme for her, butch for me. But neither one of us had the proper words before–or the right ideas about what those words MEANT.
So both of us have been pretty much demolishing Sugarbutch for the past week, reading everything we can as fast as we can, and it’s helping us figure ourselves out. Each other out. And realize we aren’t just the only two who feel like this. Thank you for that.
If you’re interested in a lot more word-smithery (and a whole bunch more tangents), I’ve written more in my own blog: http://darksideofstorm.livejournal.com/224387.html
I stumbled upon the blog a few years ago, I can't even remember from where, for the stories. While they still keep me entertained, its the dialogue about our world and its intricacies that makes me stay.
I ADORE Sugarbutch with a blazing hot passion! Maybe you've done it and I missed it but would love to see a review on cocks & harnesses for fucking, not just strapping. My dyke and I have gone through too many that suck and not in a good way.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
So much to love!
Omphaloskepsis being at the top of my list, but closely followed by;
Gender theory,
Product reviews,
Queer Eye Candy,
Top Hot Butches (holy smokes, the hawt!),
the sense of a larger community ~ albeit an ephemeral one,
Pacific Northwest REPRESENTS!
Congratulations on One Million!