I'm Jesse James; I live in Seattle with my wife, Violet. After the night we met we spent the next 15 months of starting to be, becoming, and being a thing with 6,514 miles in between us. About six years ago we figured out how to be in the same place at the same time… finally. I like it best this way. As a faggy, boi-like, lesbian, dyke, girl, androgynous, sister, partner, girlfriend wife, writer, daughter, activist, believer, friend, gardener, Cher-loving, liberal, sexy, goofy, stubborn, cocky, fragile, political, sensitive, angry, kind, self-loving person, I like this quote: “If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” —Audre Lorde. And so I do.