In general, I’m not much of a fan of vibrators.
I used to be—small, buzzy egg vibrators were some of the first sex toys I ever bought, and I accessorized them with small silicone slip-on covers that fluttered, and loved it. I bought a rabbit vibrator, that one that oscillates and rotates and pivots and then also the bunny’s ears flicker.
But for me, those were mostly gateway sex toys, leading me into BDSM gear and impact toys and leather and harnesses and strap-ons. I’d occasionally use one, but not too often. (You’ll notice there are very few vibrators reviewed in the Sugarbutch archives.)
The “luxury” vibrators started getting more and more popular in the last, oh, idk, 10 years or so, and there are a ridiculous amount of options for fancy, upscale vibrators that pulse in different patterns, that are rechargeable, submersible in water, made of gorgeous materials, and incredibly sexy designs. Still, in general, for me, the $100+ price tag is just too much and they will, inevitably, break, as they have tiny motors and detailed innards that just won’t work forever (unlike a leather flogger, that just gets more valuable as you break it in, or a silicone strap-on dick, which have lifetime guarantees from places like Vixen Creations).
I’ll admit, too, that the luxury vibes are often a little too … well, feminine. So I suppose I have a small bias there.
Plus, there’s just the way that my body works: I tend to need a lot of heavy stimulation. And … there’s something sexier about a static object: an object that only moves as an extension of me, of my arm, of my will, rather than something that has it’s own movement and agenda and volition.
And yet … when I finally got turned on to the Hitachi Magic Wand (now known as the Magic Wand Original), I made a vibrator exception. It is so great. Magic Wand converts know what I mean … often if someone is a “Magic Wand kind of guy” (as I have been known to describe myself), it tells me a lot about what kind of sensation they like.
If you’ve never tried a “wand” type vibrator, here’s a round-up review of four of the very best out there, and how they’re different and similar. My boy and I did some vigorous testing and we have our favorites, but your favorites may be different depending on your body.
Generally, wands are not a “well, if I work really hard, then I can get off with this toy” kind of toy. They are lazy toys. They are sit-back-and-take-it toys. They are toys for deep relaxing. I mean, hell, you can even use it on other parts of your body, like your feet or your shoulders, for really good muscle release. (I know, so novel right?) They are, in general, very intense—they often have a much higher power than any of the hand-held small vibrators, with a much deeper vibration.
The four different wands: The Magic Wand Original, The Doxy, The Magic Wand Cordless, and the Lelo Smart Wand
The Magic Wand Original
Ahh, the Original. It used to be called the Hitachi Magic Wand, but Hitachi wanted to pull it from the market (as they make tons of things other than vibrators, and they don’t really like having their brand name associated with sex toys), but agreed to keep making them if nobody would call them “Hitachis” ever again. I have a hard time not casually calling it a Hitachi—because, that’s what it’s been called for a dozen years!—but I try to think about it as an intentional transition and call it what it wants to be called. (I am glad the company is still making them, after all.)
When I asked rife his opinion, he said: “Everyone knows what this one is. It’s the go-to, classic, mother of all wands.”
It’s not particularly waterproof, however—if you’re someone who squirts a lot, it can easily seep into the motors of the Original and damage it. (I think rife and I have gone through two of them, and my best guess is that’s what did ’em in.)
If you don’t know it, this is probably the place to start. It’s teeth-rattlingly buzzy, and it has two settings: high, and OMFG AHHHHH. If you like a lot of stimulation or a lot of vibration, this one is for you.
rife’s rank: #2
Sinclair’s rank: #2
Plugs in—never runs out of battery
Reliable, consistent vibration
Plugs in – you’re tied to a power outlet, plus it is hard to travel with as it’s a US standard plug
No low setting and no setting variability
Not waterproof, if you’re even someone who squirts a lot of fluid you will likely get that into the gears of the wand and damage it
The head is made of plastic, so if you want to share it with partners you aren’t fluid-bonded with, you’ll want to use a condom over the head
Buy it at:
Erika Moen turned me on to the Doxy with her reviews on Oh Joy Sex Toy, saying that she loves the Magic Wand, but that the Doxy was even better. WHAAAT!? So I had to try it.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t do it for me at all. I don’t think I’ve ever actually gotten off while using this wand … I always get turned on, but then I just skip over the coming part and go right to the frustrated part, and I always end up wishing I was using the Magic Wand or even my hand.
It’s got a beautiful PVC head, which is bigger and softer than the Magic Wand, so I thought that would make the sensations less intense and therefore better, but somehow it is too soft and cloudy and not specific enough for me. It has a lot more settings than the Magic Wand—TEN of them total—but yet, they are too intense or not intense enough.
rife: “I got overstimulated WAY too quickly. Even the second to lowest setting was still way too much.”
Get this one if: You love your Magic Wand, but you want variable speeds or more power.
rife’s rank: #4
Sinclair’s rank: #4
Ten variable speeds
High quality materials
Plugs in, so it won’t run out of battery
Comes in multiple colors!
Plugs in, with a long cord
Soft head isn’t quite specific enough
Biggest of the 4 wands reviewed here, so it can be unweildly
Average cost: $135
Buy it at:
The Magic Wand Cordless
The Magic Wand redesigned and re-released a new version just this year, and this time, they made it cordless! But although that’s notable, that’s not even the best thing about it—it’s the settings, the settings, the settings! The Original Magic Wand has just two speeds: High and OMFG. But the Cordless has four variable speeds AND four vibration settings, going from low to high. The buttons are completely intuitive and so easy to use.
The body and head are slightly redesigned, too, to be a little sleeker and slightly better materials.
rife says: “I don’t miss the Original. I want this one. I’m so into the settings, it really helps me not to get overstimulated. It has the most foreplay built in, all the variable speeds and settings make it more “believable,” more like a human interaction than a morse code machine.”
While I like it, I don’t like-like it, if you know what I mean. I find myself wanting the Original, and not that into the settings.
rife’s ranking: #1
Sinclair’s ranking: #3
Average cost: $125
Four variable speeds!
Four variable buzzing patterns!
Cordless & rechargeable, OR you can plug it in!
Still as powerful as the Original!
Very intuitive buttons
Cordless means that it can run out of battery power and die, just when you need it
Buy it at:
The Lelo Smart Wand
This one wins, hands-down, for design. It’s so sleek and sexy. The silicone body is that velvety-smooth silicone like many of Lelo’s high quality sex toys, and it just begs to be touched. (I love that.) It also has this curve in it, unlike any of the others, and I am completely convinced that the curve makes it better. It can both curl under the pubic bone, just a little bit, and get the pressure just in the right spot, and for those of us who like to jerk things off in a hand-pumping kind of (dick) way? This is really good for that.
So if the action of jerking a dick does anything for you, or if you are really into curved g-spot dildos or internal vibrators, you’ll like the shape.
The vibration is my favorite, by far. It’s got more of a deep rumble than any of the others, rather than a superficial buzzy-ness. It also has a weird/interesting feature where it responds to pressure, which isn’t quite as cool as it sounds, but nonetheless makes it feel a bit more interactive. It seems to slow down when it receives more pressure, though, which is kind of strange—I want it to speed up.
It has 8 variable speeds, though I don’t find myself using those very often. I don’t quite have the overstimulation issue that rife reports. I just want it to be deep, rumbly, consistent vibration. And this? Yes, this. This is a major win for me.
rife’s rank: #3
Sinclair’s rank: #1
Cordless & rechargable
Waterproof – fully submersible, which makes it easy to clean!
EIGHT different speeds
“Sense touch” responsive
Amazing, sexy design
Two different sizes – Medium and Large
Because it’s cordless, it can run out of power
Rumbly, deep vibrations aren’t for everyone
“Sense touch” is kinda weird
Average cost: Large, $199; Medium, $159
Buy it at:
And there you have it, folks!
I have definitely wondered if my body has just gotten used to the 12-plus years that I’ve been using the Magic Wand Original … I mean, how could it not? People definitely talk about getting “addicted” to it, or the ways that it makes other ways of getting off a bit harder. While I’ve seen studies that conclude that that’s not true, I also know people who swear by their own bodies that it is true for them, and I tend to believe the body’s truth over some study.
I hope that round-up is helpful. Honestly, I think they are all pretty incredible. I think the best way to really know if you’re into it or not is to go into a store and try them all out on your hands (or shoulders or other SFW place), and go from there. But I hope some of this background information was helpful for your decision making process. And hey, the holidays are coming up—might be time to put one of these on your wish list, or get one for your partner.
Last but not least …
It is really hard to try out and compare a bunch of wand vibrators. I mean—I know, boo hoo, but also: after using one for even just a little while, I’m already turned on that it’s hard to have an unbiased review of the next one. And if I haven’t used one since yesterday or this morning, it’s harder to compare the sensation.
So, of course, I had to tie up rife and blindfold him, and use each of them on him in turn, playing with the settings and the intensities, to help have a better taste test of them all. (Well, it helped with his review of them at least. For mine, I’ve been testing and retesting for the last three months since I got ahold of all of them.)
That scene was so fun—and he was so giddy and silly, trying to describe the sensation to me while I was buzzing away at his cunt, that I had to shoot some video and keep questioning him. It wasn’t quite an interrogation scene, but maybe had a little bit of that feel. I’ll be putting up some of the video on Instagram in the next few days if you’d like to see it, it’s pretty hilarious.
Also, my Instagram account is protected, but it’s not because I don’t want to share with you; it’s just because I don’t want my exes or my family to be able to browse through my personal photographs, and I want to be able to keep posting personal things there. So please do come follow me there, just send a request and I’ll add you.
Thanks to Doxy, Magic Wand Rechargable, and Lelo for sending me samples to review!