In the spirit of Anal Week, I’ll be doing some quick interviews with sexuality educators, porn stars, and anal lovers to get the conversation going. Here’s the first one, with sexuality educator Charlie Glickman.
A few tips:
1) try it out on yourself before doing it with a partner. If you’re going to be the giver, it’ll help you understand how sensitive and delicate the anus is. If you’re going to be the received, it’ll give valuable info about how you like to be touched.
2) do something else (simultaneously) that you enjoy. A vibe on the clit, a hand on the cock, whatever. Arousal makes anal play easier and it helps your body connect a familiar pleasure with new sensations.
3) pay attention to your mood. Anxiety and fear can cause the anus to contract, making anal play more difficult.
Lube: silicone, especially for external massage or getting started. Eros or Swiss Navy are nice. Thicker gels work better once you’re in the rectum because they give a bit more cushioning. Please Me Gel is a good one.
Position: hips above the head. Elbows and knees is good. Or on your back with a pillow or a Liberator Wedge under the hips. In that position, it can also be helpful to prop the knees up with pillows so the muscles can relax. Remember- anal penetration is about relaxing the anus, so the less work the other muscles are doing, the easier it’ll be.
You might find these useful: Anal Sex and An Introduction to Anal Play at Good Vibrations
Charlie Glickman has been a sexuality educator since 1989 and joined the staff of Good Vibrations in 1996. He holds a doctorate in Adult Sexuality Education and is certified as a Sexuality Educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists. See more about Dr. Glickman or read his work at his blog, or on the Good Vibrations Magazine.
Those are in the wrong order of priority imo/experience!
1. Lube, lube, lube, and MORE lube
2. Breathing is CRITICAL (recipient exhales with every push, the one penetrating has to watch their breathing and tenseness, not moving when they inhale or shoulders/body tightens)
3. Patience, the recipient should direct the "action"–ESPECIALLY if penetrating with toys that don't have their own nerves to feel too much friction/blood/issues
4. Self play/awareness
5. Position (as covered)
6. Most I've introduced to anal play prefer NOT to have other touching/distractions as they concentrate on relaxing back there–that being said, obviously you want to be aroused first.
hth!
PS: It helps to understand that we have conscious control of some of those muscles, the others are autonomic. Therefore you have to convince the spinal cord to relax those muscles as well, it gets easier with practice.
” do something else (simultaneously) that you enjoy.”
is it bad that i immediately pictured her playing scrabble on the bed?