President & CEO, Riot Grrrl Ink. The Largest Queer Record Label in the world.
Photo by Grace Moon
1. What is your relationship with the word or identity “butch”?
My relationship with butch has evolved over my life. From coming out in college in rural West Virginia in the mid 90’s to living in modern day New York City. I have a very broad concept of gender especially in regards to identity and fluidity.
I did not come into my butchness like some, I was born into it – my mother jokes to this day that there was no need for me to “come out”. I grew up in rural Appalachia in the buckle of the bible belt. In the early 80‘s before there were mandatory curriculums of inclusion and tolerance in the public school system. I was bullied and teased constantly at school, it was a hard way to grow up. Butch was full of negative connotation for me in the first part of my life. Then I came out and I learned to find positive images of butch & gender variance in my community and I learned a new definition of the word. The more people I meet, the more art I am exposed to – my definition of butch & gender gets bigger and bigger – it will always be evolving.
2. What kind of words and labels, if any, do you use to identify yourself?
I identify as a Tender Hearted Gender Queer that has a nougaty Deep Lez Center with Hillbilly tendencies.
3. What do you wish you could tell your younger self about sex, sexuality, or gender?
I was bullied and teased constantly about my gender expression in elementary school (see attached elementary school photo). By the time I was in Jr. High & Highschool, I was dressing to fit in and growing my hair long. I had learned to not let anyone know who I really was. I would go back and tell my younger self about Dapper Q, Bromance and the Flatbush Freakshow…. the big beautiful world that awaits out there once all of the queers find each other on the internet… start to mobilize & create. I would also tell myself that American Apparel Manties will change your life, have a wicked respect for your herstory / history, there is truth where you come from and to take better care of my vinyl.
I LOVE what is happening now – the fostering of butch identified community though grassroots organizing. I look at things like Butch Voices & Butch Lab happening all over the country and I see people coming together to create safe space, share resources, organize n’ mobilize, get inspired and most importantly, connect to community and I get hella excited. This generation of butch identified / masculine of center individuals are changing what it means to be butch – making it bigger and more accessible for those to come and it’s all being documented in real time through social media – it’s a very exciting & fascinating time.
can you post a definition of or primer on what gender queer means?
Here’s a definition on genderqueer, one I think works very well (I identify as genderqueer):
Genderqueer (GQ): a catch-all term for gender identities other than man and woman (also intergender). People who identify as genderqueer may think of themselves as being both man and woman, as being neither man nor woman, or as falling completely outside the gender binary. They may express a combination of masculinity and femininity, one or the other, or neither. Androgyne is also used commonly to describe this same category. Since there is still relatively little agreed upon terminology, the distinction between the two categories are difficult to pull apart. Genderqueers may have any sexuality/sexual identity, any physical sex, and may or may not identify as transgender.
Some genderqueer people see their identity as one of many possible genders other than man or woman, while others see “genderqueer” as an umbrella term that encompasses all of those possible genders. Still others see “genderqueer” as a third gender to complement the traditional two, while others identify as genderless or agender. Genderqueer people, by definition, are united by their rejection of the notion that there are only two genders.The term “genderqueer” can also be used as an adjective to refer to any people who transgress gender, regardless of their self-defined gender identity.
— for me, genderqueer means that I have a female and a male identity, they co-exist but are not fluidly intertwined. Depending on which identity I’m acting through, I use male or female pronouns. I detest having to choose my gender when confronted by checkboxes on forms.