journal entries

Let’s have some shots of joy, shall we?

Posted on by Sinclair Sexsmith

DSC_1825I’m getting some new headshots done today by the talented Meg Allen, with the aim of reflecting me as a little bit more west coast and a little more joyous.

All the recent headshots of me, while technically beautiful, like this one by Kristy Boyce, which is one of the most gorgeous shots of me I’ve seen, have me looking so … miserable. The agony just seeps through and it’s depressing. I can’t use it for much. “I don’t mind earnest, or stern, or serious—I play all of those things a lot, and it kind of goes along with the bad-ass-top thing I am portraying,” I wrote to Meg this morning. “But these just look … sad.”

I keep thinking about this head shot of Sherman Alexie’s from a few (10?) years back—he’s open mouth laughing and it’s gorgeous. I remember being captivated by it when it was on the back of his book Ten Little Indians, and thinking how it was so unconventional, and also had so much deep joy.

alexieI don’t know if I can occupy some joy like that, but I’d love to try for some levity and some (deep dark, mischievous, shadowy, BDSM-style) playfulness, at least.

So that’s what’s on the agenda for today.

Published by Sinclair Sexsmith

Sinclair Sexsmith (they/them) is "the best-known butch erotica writer whose kinky, groundbreaking stories have turned on countless queers" (AfterEllen), who "is in all the books, wins all the awards, speaks at all the panels and readings, knows all the stuff, and writes for all the places" (Autostraddle). ​Their short story collection, Sweet & Rough: Queer Kink Erotica, was a 2016 finalist for a Lambda Literary Award, and they are the current editor of the Best Lesbian Erotica series. They identify as a white non-binary butch dominant, a survivor, and an introvert, and they live outside Seattle as an uninvited settler on traditional, ancestral, & unceded Snoqualmie land.

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4 thoughts on “Let’s have some shots of joy, shall we?”

  1. Avery says:

    I’m sorry. I’ve been in the same boat. Recently. Time heals, but you knew that :)

    Might I also recommend my favorite local (SF) photographer, Mark Chester? He is ‘specially good at capturing personality and tenderness. Although he is known for his leather/fetish work, he also does a lot of fairly traditional portraits within the community. He has done marvelous portraits of my adult daughter and myself. He is curmudgeonly kind-hearted and will totally get what you’re looking for! Mark Chester – http://markichester.com/digital.html

    Reply
  2. Tracy says:

    “All the recent headshots of me, while technically beautiful, like this one by Kristy Boyce, which is one of the most gorgeous shots of me I’ve seen, have me looking so … miserable.”

    Operative word being “recent”–> you’ve been through a wringer lately & I’d only find it off-putting if your headshot showed you giddy, actually. I’d say that particular shot shows someone who’s, “in the wars” as they like to say, here in AU. That beautiful face has a story to tell, & so, you will…

    Have patience, & heal.

    Reply
  3. mel p says:

    Maybe try my mate Sarah Deragon at Portraits to the People?
    http://www.portraitstothepeople.com/

    One of her favourite things is ‘not-so-corporate’ headshots. She’s in SFO.

    Reply
  4. SD says:

    You’re so lucky to have Meg Allen doing your headshots. Meg is amazing. If you ever want another another round of photos, keep me mind. Thanks to Mel P. for the recommendation!

    Reply

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