essays

This includes my personal understandings of gender theory, queer theory, BDSM theory, power theory, feminist theory, butch/femme dynamic and identity.

How to Chomp: Erotic Biting for Pleasure & Pain

November 5th, 2013 • 10 minute read • by

The Great Reader Mini-Interview, Part Four: “Shut up and get hit,” Communion, and fun erotica

November 3rd, 2013 • < 1 minute read • by

The Great Reader Mini-Interview, Part Three: Personal accountability & self reflections, Kink, and Do Your Research

October 24th, 2013 • < 1 minute read • by

The Great Reader Mini-Interview, part two

October 17th, 2013 • < 1 minute read • by

The Great Reader Mini-Interview, part 1: National Fisting Day, embracing gender complexities, and more

October 16th, 2013 • 3 minute read • by

To the femmes on whom I’ve crushed this past year

October 5th, 2013 • 5 minute read • by

Ask Mr. Sexsmith: What happens to the stuff on the anal toys when you boil them?

September 20th, 2013 • 2 minute read • by

Ask Mr. Sexsmith: First time with a girl

September 18th, 2013 • 6 minute read • by

Ask Mr. Sexsmith: Help! I want a decent pack ‘n play cock!

September 8th, 2013 • 3 minute read • by

Ask Mr. Sexsmith Anything: What words compliment a butch lover?

August 29th, 2013 • 3 minute read • by

Dominance & Power with Responsibility

June 24th, 2013 • 4 minute read • by

Writing your story is “an investment in one’s self,” and more from Amber Dawn

May 21st, 2013 • 5 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Aida: Exercise the Love Muscle

February 7th, 2013 • 4 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Sassafras Lowrey: “I live the queer life I’ve always dreamed of”

February 1st, 2013 • 3 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Nayland: “I finally am having the sorts of relationships that I’ve wanted all my life”

January 23rd, 2013 • < 1 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Katrina: People Are Adventures

January 11th, 2013 • < 1 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Charlie Glickman: “Being poly doesn’t make you more evolved”

January 10th, 2013 • 3 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Alphafemme: I Create My Own Sense of Security and Safety

January 7th, 2013 • 4 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Roxy: In Love With the Whole World

January 4th, 2013 • 3 minute read • by

Open Relationships Mini Interview with Ashley: Love is Infinite

January 3rd, 2013 • 2 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Hawkin47: Freedom is Worth the Pain & Pangs of Jealousy

January 2nd, 2013 • 4 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Becca Bee: Identify Needs vs Wants

January 1st, 2013 • < 1 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with EK: I Wish I’d Had A Manual

January 1st, 2013 • 3 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Katie: Fluidity in Long Term Relationships

December 31st, 2012 • 2 minute read • by

The Best Things I Wrote About Sex, Gender, & Relationships in 2012

December 30th, 2012 • 10 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Colin: Jealousy is a Pain Reaction

December 30th, 2012 • 3 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Ozy: Compersion is Seriously Excellent

December 29th, 2012 • 3 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Doodle: Assumptions, Impatience, Jealousy, Emotional Freedom

December 29th, 2012 • 5 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Parks: This is Magic, I Promise

December 28th, 2012 • 3 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Andrea Zanin: Applies to All Relationships, Not Just Poly

December 28th, 2012 • 5 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Lolita: Rules Can’t Balance Out Insecurities

December 27th, 2012 • < 1 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Jack: Ridiculously Hot Kink & Sex

December 27th, 2012 • 2 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Dire: Relationship Resilience (and Sexual Variety)

December 26th, 2012 • 3 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Rory: Special Treat Lovers

December 26th, 2012 • 2 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with TP: Dating is Hard

December 21st, 2012 • 2 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Marie: Keep Loving

December 20th, 2012 • 2 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Cricket: Support

December 20th, 2012 • 4 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with c.: There Are Lots of Ways To Do This

December 19th, 2012 • 2 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Alex: It’s Okay To Have Feelings

December 19th, 2012 • 2 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Deserthooker: More Confident, Self-Assured and Grounded

December 18th, 2012 • 3 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Miranda: Act in Your Own Self-Enlightened Best Interest

December 18th, 2012 • 2 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Gina Mink: Jealousy is Normal

December 17th, 2012 • 2 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Tuesday: So Much Love

December 17th, 2012 • 2 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Dani: Know Yourself & Respect Your Instincts

December 15th, 2012 • 2 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Kyle: It Can All Change

December 14th, 2012 • 4 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Rife: “I Hear You”

December 14th, 2012 • 1 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Molly: Boundaries & A Reassurance List

December 13th, 2012 • 6 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Sara Eileen: They Shouldn’t Be This Hard All the Time

December 13th, 2012 • 3 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Meredith: Six Happy Rules

December 12th, 2012 • 2 minute read • by

Open Relationship Mini Interview with Mysty: Advanced Relationship Studies

December 12th, 2012 • 2 minute read • by